GIDGET


IT WAS A WARM DAY BACK IN MAY OF 2009.. I WAS SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH AND HAD JUST FINISHED READING MY BIBLE WHEN MY HUSBAND CAME OUTSIDE AND TOLD ME I MIGHT NEED TO GO CALL MY NEICE THAT THERE WAS A MESSAGE FROM HER  THAT THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY… SO I HEADED TO THE UPSTAIRS BEDROOM AND QUICKLY DIALED HER PHONE NUMBER.. WHEN  MY NIECE NICOLE ANSWERED THE PHONE SHE WAS IN HYSTERICS AND SAID AUNT DELLA  MY MOM IS DYING.. I WAS  IN SHOCK AND ALL I COULD AT THAT MOMENT MANAGE TO SAY IS WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.. NICOLE SLOW DOWN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?  SO SHE SLOWLY REPEATED HER SELF MY MOM IS DYING.. AND ALL I COULD HEAR WAS NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ON THE PHONE AND REALISED IT WAS MY OWN SOBBING VOICE REPEATING ITSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN…

SO SHE BEGAN TO TELL ME MOM HAD A STROKE LAST NITE.. DR. SAY SHE WONT RECOVER THAT SHE IS BRAIN DEAD.. AS I GOT THE INFORMATION AND WROTE IT ALL DOWN SHAKILY I TOLD HER I WOULD MEET HER AT THE HOSPITAL WHICH WAS OVER AN HOUR AWAY..

WHEN I ARRIVED AT THE HOSPITAL I WALKED INTO A ROOM WHERE MY SISTER LAYED ON A BED WITH A TUBE COMING OUT OF HER MOUTH.. SHE HAD BLOOD FROM HER NOSE AND CORNER OF HER MOUTH AND MY HEART FELT AS THOUGH FOR MOMENT IT HAD STOPPED BEATING.. MY LEGS WENT WEAK AND I COULDNT SPEAK… I STOOD THERE AS THOUGH GLUED TO THIS SPOT .. I KEPT TELLING MY SELF TO MOVE JUST MOVE WALK OVER TO HER DELLA BUT MY LEGS REFUSED TO OBEY WHAT MY MIND WAS ORDERING IT TO DO.. SO I JUST STOOD THERE STAIRING AT MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER…

MY NIECE NICOLE AND OTHER NIECE DANA AND NEPHEW CAME UP TO ME AND SAID WE NEED TO TALK TO YOU FOR MIN CAN WE STEP OUTSIDE? THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS USHERED INTO A ROOM WITH SOME KIND OF HOSPITAL PERSON AND GIDGETS THREE CHILDREN AND I HEAR MY NIECE NICOLE SAY TO ME..AUNT DELLA MOMA IS NOT BREATHING ON HER OWN SHE IS ON TOTAL LIFE SUPPORT AND U KNOW SHE NEVER WOULD WANT TO BE KEPT ALIVE BY ARTIFICIAL MEANS SO WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE HER OFF LIFE SUPPORT… I LOOKED AT HER AND JUST NODDED .. I KNEW IN MY HEART THIS WAS TRUE, BUT MY MIND JUST COULDNT TAKE IN WHAT WAS HAPPENING AND EVERYTHING WAS HAPPENING WAY TOO FAST TO COMPREHEND…

AN HOUR LATER THE TUBE HAD BEEN REMOVED FROM MY SISTER , AS SHE WAS TAKEN OFF OF THE RESPIRATOR… I WALKED BACK INTO THE ROOM AND STOOD BY SISTERS SIDE AND SPOKE TO HER SOFTLY AS THOUGH I WAS AFRAID TO WAKE HER.. GENTLY SMOOTHING HER HAIR BACK FROM HER FORHEAD AND I KNELT DOWN AND SAID SOFTLY IN HER EAR.. GIDGET YOUR GONNA BE JUST FINE… YOUR GONNA COME OUT OF THIS AND UR GONNA BE BACK ON YOUR FEET DANCING AND SINGING AND DOING ALL THE THINGS YOU LOVE TO DO.. YOU HAVE FEW MORE MONTHS AND YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOING TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER GRAND CHILD AND YOUR GONNA BE A OK… I AM HERE SIS.. AND IM NOT LEAVING .. GONNA SEE YOU THRU THIS… I  PULLED THE CHAIR UP BESIDE HER BED AND I GRABBED HER HAND AND I PRAYED ..WHEN THE DR CAME IN I STOOD UP AND I ASKED HER..  WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED TO HER… I KNOW SHE HAD A STROKE BUT WHAT HAPPENED…  WILL SHE RECOVER FROM THIS? THE DR. LOOKED AT ME AND ASKED ME TO COME OVER SHE WANTED TO SHOW ME SOMETHING .. SHE SAID YOUR SISTER HAD A MASSIVE STROKE.. THE STROKE WAS SO SEVERE THAT IT ALMOST TOOK OUT HER ENTIRE BRAIN STEM.. SHE SAID NOW I WANT YOU TO  LOOK AT THIS.. AND SHE LIFTED UP MY SISTERS EYE LIDS AND SAID SEE HOW HER EYES ARE FIXED AND DIALATED.. I SAID YES.. SHE SAID YOUR SISTERS BRAIN ACTIVITY IS NOT THERE. I SAID WELL CANT SHE PULL THRU I MEAN BY SOME SLIM MIRACLE OF GOD IF SHE PULLED THRU WOULD SHE RECOVER.? AND THE DR. LOOKED AT ME AND SAID IF BY SOME MIRACLE SHE PULLED THRU SHE WOULD BE A VEGETABLE FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.. AND MY HEART SUNKKKKKKKKKKKKK INTO MY STOMACH AT THAT MOMENT… FOR I KNEW GIDGET WOULD NEVER HAVE WANTED THAT.. THE DR. SAID IM SORRY AND TURNED AND LEFT THE ROOM..

AS I TOOK MY SEAT AGAIN BY MY SISTER AND GRABBED AHOLD OF HER HAND I SAT THERE AND TALKED TO HER FOR HOURS .. AND AS THE NURSE WOULD COME IN AND CHECK HER VITALS AND GIVE HER ATIVAN TO CALM HER AND HELP HER ALONG KEEPING HER AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE.. SHE TOLD ME ALL TO EXPECT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN WITH THE MACHINES IF MY SISTER SHOULD PASS AWAY.. SO I SAT THERE AND I WATCHED AS THE MACHINES CHANGED WITH THE TIME THAT WENT BY .. AFTER SEVERAL HOURS MY SISTERS BREATHING BECAME VERY RAGGED AND SHE BEGAN TO STRUGGLE AND I PRAYED THAT GOD WOULD NOT ALLOW HER TO SUFFER.. AS I KNEW SHE WAS GOING TO BE WITH OUR HEAVENLY FATHER SOON… SO I SPOKE TO HER MORE AND TRIED TO CALM HER HOPING THAT SOME WHERE IN HER COMA SLEEP SHE WOULD HEAR MY VOICE AND KNOW THAT I WAS THERE..

AFTER 17 HOURS BY MY SISTERS SIDE AND TALKING TO  HER ALMOST NON STOP … I HAD TO TELL HER ALL THE THINGS I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO SAY .. THE MACHINES STARTING BEEPING OFF AND I WATCHED IN HORROR AS THE NUMBERS STARTED GOING DOWN AND HER HEART  RATE SLOWED.. I WAS POWERLESS TO STOP IT AND ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS STOP THIS FROM HAPPENING.. I COULDNT CONTROL THAT MACHINE.. COULDNT CONTROL WHAT WAS OCCURING AND I WAS TERRIFIED OF WHAT WAS COMING AS I KNEW MY SISTER WAS IN HER FINAL MOMENTS AND WAS DYING… I JUMPED UP AND WENT TO HER EAR AND I TOLD HER GIDGET DONT GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT LEAVE.. AND I BEGAN TO CRY HYSTERICALLY AS THE NURSES CAME IN AND THE MACHINE THEN FLATLINED.. I  GRABBED AHOLD OF HER AND JUST CRIED AND CRIED AS I KNEW THAT I FELT HER LIFE SLIP AWAY AND I COULD NOT KEEP HER FROM THIS.. I SAT BACK DOWN BESIDE HER IN MY CHAIR AND I JUST LAYED MY HEAD ON HER AND SOBBED FOR SEVERAL SEVERAL MIN AND THEN THE NURSE APOLOGISED TO ME AND ASKED ME IF I COULD STEP OUT OF THE ROOM  SO THAT THEY COULD CALL THE TIME OF DEATH..

AFTER THEY DID THIS  I WENT AGAIN INTO THE ROOM ONE LAST TIME AND LOOKED AT MY SISTER .. I WAS REELING ..  WALKING AROUND IN MY NITEMARE AND I JUST WANTED TO WAKE UP FROM IT.. I STOOD THERE FOR WHAT SEEMED LIKE FOREVER AND I FINALLY TURNED AND WALKED AWAY.. I WENT OUTSIDE AND THE SUN LIGHT HIT ME FULL FORCE IN THE FACE AND SOMEHOW  I WAS ANGRY THAT THE SUN WAS SHINING SO BRITE AND THE SKY WAS SO BLUE IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND YET THE UGLIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.. AFTER THE VIEWING AND THE FUNERAL I SPOKE TO NO ONE ON HER DEATH IT WAS AS THOUGH IT WAS AN UGLY SECRET AND NO ONE WANTED TO SPEAK ON IT.. SO I JUST TOOK ALL THE HURT AND STUFFED INSIDE MYSELF AND WENT ON BEST I COULD..

HOWEVER I WASNT  DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF MY SISTER VERY WELL AT ALL. AS I HAD NEVER LOST A FAMILY MEMBER BEFORE YET ALONE MY ONLY SIBLING.. MY ELDEST SISTER WAS DEAD AT THE AGE OF 47 .. AND I JUST DIDNT KNOW HOW TO LEAVE THAT HOSPITAL ROOM AS I WAS PLAGUED WITH THE HORROR OF IT ALL AND HAD TERRIBLE NITEMARES  ALMOST EVERYDAY FOR A YEAR AFTER HER DEATH… I BECAME EXTREMEMLY DEPRESSED AND ALL I WANTED WAS TO HAVE MY SISTER BACK… I WAS ANGRY AT THE WORLD ANGRY AT GOD AND SOMEWHERE EVEN ANGRY AT HER… I WAS MISERABLE AND I HATED EVERYTHING AND ALMOST EVERYONE.. AS THE WHOLE WORLD SEEMED TO KEEP MOVING AND I JUST COULDNT GET PAST HER DEATH..

AFTER THE FIRST YEAR I MET A BEAUTIFUL PERSON WHO BECAME A SECOND MOM TO ME.. SHE  IS THE REASON I WAS ABLE TO DEAL WITH MY SISTERS DEATH AND FINALLY LEAVE THAT HOSPITAL ROOM IN MY MIND.. SHE HELPED ME TO WALK AWAY FROM THAT ROOM AS ON THE SECOND YEAR OF MY SISTERS DEATH WE BOTH WALKED AWAY TOGETHER AND CLOSED THAT DOOR.. SHE HELD MY HAND AND SAW ME THRU THE HURT.. AND INDEED HAS BEEN MY GOLDENHEART ANGEL..

IT WILL BE THREE YEARS SINCE MY SISTERS DEATH IN MAY OF THIS YEAR.. I HATE THIS MONTH BUT I KNOW SHE IS IN A FAR BETTER PLACE.. I MISS HER TERRIBLY BUT AT LEAST NOW I CAN LOOK AT IT ALL LIL DIFFERENTLY..  THANKS TO MY CANADIAN MOMA..

DELL381

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Published by: dell381

IM 49 YEARS OLD .. I LIVE IN SOUTH GEORGIA. HAPPILY MARRIED AND HAVE 4 BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. ONE BEAUTIFUL GRANDSON. I AM RICHLY BLESSED. I ENJOY READING . WRITING . SINGING. AND LOVE TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW.

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